Less TV, More Music

I have never been much of a television person. At some point in high school, my parents suspended our cable subscription because no one really used it- there were books to be read, walks to be taken, shorelines to explore. Then again, it is easy to look back and see a golden twilight before any stretch of darkness. It is more accurate to say that there were books to be read, tumblrs to be tumble, and internet to surf- less glorious, but I have taken steps to eradicate distractions for distraction's sake and I am proud of those efforts- I recently left tumblr after being more or less addicted for four years and suspended my facebook back in November. It was hard at first, habits are difficult to break, but I don't find myself missing them so much as I had initially assumed I would. With those vices removed, I cleared space and found an unexpected villain looking back at me- I had considered myself free, but suddenly recognized that I was in denial, possibly not realizing the reality because it had not always been so. I watch a whole lot of television.

When I think about it, I can trace when and why this started happening. After high school, I spent a large amount of time alone in a foreign country. I had no peers with whom to interact and found it difficult to rustle up the desire to sleep and so began to watch television, if only to have voices around me. As a background noise dependent person- I struggle to work in complete silence- and someone who was actively running away from her own mind, I eliminated music, which allowed for too much introspection and replaced it with anything- anything to create that white noise that I craved. As a result of this habit-forming behavior, I find that I hardly listen to music anymore, a neglect that detracts from my very soul, and absorb an enormous amount of television. It is distracting and empty and escapist without purpose and it needs to stop.

If you were to ask me, I would say that I believe in committing yourself completely to whatever you are doing, in the moment that you are doing it. I multi-task as a defense mechanism and because it quiets my anxiety to justify it with multiple stimuli, but like most human beings really do prefer to operate single-mindedly. In order to do this I need to return to simple lifestyle habits that inform that still, small space where I get good work done. There is something to be said for bad content in- bad content out and so:

I don't need to eliminate television completely. There is some great television out there. I need to eliminate it as background noise. If I am going to watch something, it should be of a quality that is of benefit to my life. If it is of quality, I should have no problem with turning off my brain to other things and focusing on it solely.

Music > television when it comes to supplying a work aid. Always.

Reclaim the identities of those little wanderers that plant the gardens in your head.